How to break a back boiler

[Sid Viscous]

So, my dear ol' ma lives in a local authority bungalow with a bag-o'-sh1te back boiler, make unknown. She loathes & despises the thing with a passion and yearns for a shiny new A rated boiler.
She keeps asking me if I can break it beyond repair without making it look obvious or endangering anyone.
I keep trying t explain that I only really only fix them & that they're really quite simple things & there isn't much that can go wrong on them. I realise what I'm contemplating may well be illegal but hey, it's me dear old mother.........
Any ideas?

 

[Destroyer2813]

Are they not updating all the systems then ?. Do they not need to keep them to a minimum standard

 

[kris]

Theres not much fans of bbu. We like them cause they are hardy boogers and tick along nicely but custards hate them more so for the ugly frontals more than the boiler themselves. Come time all local authorities will have there houses upgraded to A rated boilers its just a question of when. Good luck with it. If i was u id do all relevant checks to see if there are any problems with boiler or fire without any malice. U mind get lucky (or unlucky u know wot i mean)

 

[MarkAqua]

break the pilot assembly, damage the gas valve and tell them your mum keeps smelling fumes in the house. SORTED

 

[Leo21]

Something non flammable and corrosive in the f&e tank.

 

[iain85]

Drain down, remove thermostat phial in boiler and run system . Cook at maximum heat until heat exchanger is fooked. Serve immediately. As I've seen done by a council house tenant who felt entitled to a new boiler as 'err mates gas bill is much cheaper than my crappy boiler'. Bless her.

 

[Leo21]

Drain down, remove thermostat phial in boiler and run system . Cook at maximum heat until heat exchanger is fooked. Serve immediately. As I've seen done by a council house tenant who felt entitled to a new boiler as 'err mates gas bill is much cheaper than my crappy boiler'. Bless her.

That would be a scary room to be in!

 

[iain85]

That would be a scary room to be in!

Yes, the decor was hideous and the *** butt smell made me sick over me **** ; )

 

[Roger Welton]

pot of rusty looking water in under the boiler.

 

[Ermintrude]

Easy, get 3 blocks from storage heater place on top of hex. ( the finned bit above burner) close up boiler . Open windows, set demand and let it cook. Stay out of house as it will melt hood and spill like a mo fo. Get carbon monoxide detector and then call transco as co alarm going off ( obviously after removing bricks) this is very dangerous and could kill some one! But a new boiler 100 %

 

[PlumbersMate]

Erm, take the fuse out?

 

[Leo21]

Erm, take the fuse out?

The council engineers may be carp, but I'd bet they'd spot that one.

 

[T & H Plumbing]

Be a good son and buy your mother the new bolier contact your council and tell um ya fitting it free of charge

She's brought you up look after the old dear

 

[PlumbersMate]

The council engineers may be carp, but I'd bet they'd spot that one.

Haha ok, let the gas run out

 

[lame plumber]

hit it with a large hammer till it cracks n leaks

 

[stevetheplumber]

no one is going to inspect it drain it down throw some water underneath the burner just say it was leaking so my son drained it engineers will be as glad to see the back of it as your mum

 

[Billy Bob Bob]

if its a Bermuda remove the rear insulation panel it wont happen quickly but it will split the back of the combustion box instantly writing it off dont forget to re-fit the insulation once its fubard

 

[zeebeedee]

10 bottles of x800 in the system will make mince meat of the heat ex

 

[Whyme]

Knock the bricks out around pipework, pull out debris plate. disconnect flue liner then threaten to riddor them......Then give the last bloke who serviced it a job..

 

[Ermintrude]

10 bottles of x800 in the system will make mince meat of the heat ex

5l of brick acid loads cheaper

 

[Leo21]

5l of brick acid loads cheaper

But how does it react to high temps? They want a new boiler, not a house.

 

[LPC]

I would probably simulate some kind of chimney collapse. Put a load of debris in the top and damage the flue liner. Put some soot up the wall above and ring them and tell them the boiler smells funny.