what not to say out load in front of the boiler!

[lame plumber]

[h=3]Things you REALLY don't want to hear your technician say[/h]

• Uh-oh.
  [*]Oh S***!
  [*]What the heck?!
  [*]That's soooo bizarre.
  [*]Wow!! Look at this!
  [*]Hey!! Vaillants don't do this!
  [*]technician's certificate of training? What's that?
  [*]Well, it's doing SOMETHING.
  [*]Wow... That seemed funny.
  [*]I got a better job at Tesco.
  [*]UK inspection rules say.
  [*]Sorry, the parts you ordered are no longer kept in stock by the company.
  [*]Damn! It didn't do that a minute ago.
  [*]Damn, and I just bought that Coke.
  [*]I removed a gasket and now there's LOTS of clearance.
  [*]Hey, do you smell something?
  [*]Hmmm! What's that grinding sound?
  [*]I have never seen one do THAT before.
  [*]I don't think it should be doing that.
  [*]I remember the last time I saw it do that.
  [*]My vacation starts tomorrow.
  [*]Oops! (said in a quiet, almost surprised voice).
  [*]Hmm, maybe if I do this.
  [*]Hmmm, curious.
  [*]We're standardizing on metric.
  [*]I wonder where THIS nut goes?
  [*](Looking at a WB) What's this switch for anyway?
  [*]If I knew it wasn't going to work, I would have tested it sooner.
  [*]The condensate trap isn't supposed to leak brown gunk, is it?
  [*]AND... Boy, it's a lot easier when you know what you're doing!

[h=5]Top ^[/h]

 

[AWheating]

Why have I got 3 screws left over?

 

[lame plumber]

only 3?

 

[AWheating]

only 3?

The others I dropped into the hex lol

 

[northcarr]

Did you have to collect tokens to get this boiler lol.

 

[Ray Stafford]

"I think we should take it back to B&Q"

 

[SimonG]

You little barsteward.

 

[acecharly]

The last plumber here was useless

 

[Ray Stafford]

"What brainless idiot put this in?"

"Oh, it was your husband? And he's the local gas-safe inspector? Interesting..."

 

[Nostrum]

"As soon as you go out, I'm right in the knicker draws"

 

[Billy Bob Bob]

get the axe

 

[Ermintrude]

Oh it's a gem this isar. Do whatever u can t keep it

 

[lame plumber]

why is this torch I found in the cuboard vibrating?

 

[SimonG]

Wheres my tea?

 

[rocketmanbkk]

I haven't got a clue what I'm looking at but I'll have a go if you want?

 

[townfanjon]

Jesus love you've got some cracking t*ts

 

[gasmanrob]

Me? Nah just a painter and decorator only dabble in boilers really

 

[Billy Bob Bob]

think its safe to jab the pcb with a screwdriver to see if its live ?

 

[Rickster123]

Any idea how this case comes off luv?

 

[Atouchofgas]

Crap that was a close call

 

[Dotty]

How about you go warm yourself up on your bed girl, I only take payment in kind.....

 

[Ermintrude]

Croppie u dirty git. My gran said a plumber once tried it on when he was fixing the heating in the old gimmers home.

 

[gasmanrob]

That's well rehearsed crop use that line often or did tamz teach it on his man ***** training day

 

[Ermintrude]

When the blokes been on screwfix forum, it's a heat only boiler and he's jabbering on about diverter valve. "Why don't you just feck off and sign up to ukpf, there's this bloke in Ireland who loves giving advise to people like you. "

 

[Kyle87]

No love it's not bring your pet to work day. That canary is my flue gas analyser.
How does it work you ask......well when I put his head the the flue sample point.....if he comes out dead then we know the ratio is fu(£3d up and it needs a strip down!!