Christmas Arguements

[dancinplumba]

Ok, this is the problem though!!! If I give the missus money to spend over the Xmas period, I'm of the opinion that I've done my bit. I'm generally not good with shopping, but the kids get 'presents' from me all the time. If I was out and found anything that I consider they NEED, I buy it regardless of the cost.
Besides, as I'm home this festive period, we all went out shopping yesterday. Guess who handed the plastic at the tills in all the shops? Muggins here. Ok, I did not choose anything or take anything off the shelf but the final bill was paid by myself.
Mad for presents, though I bought none for the kids, I'll like to assume that if she is a good wife, she will tell the kids that the presents are from 'daddy & mommy'. There're over 20 wrapped packets under the Xmas tree. Friends, neighbours, family members etc were bringing presents up to last night. So the kids have plenty to open, even though not from me per se. They will get plenty in the new year.
BTW, I'm lying down here with the missus resting her head on my lap while we watch Downton Abbey. I hate the programme but as its Xmas, I'm watching it with her. I just hope she'll not keep plying me with too many variety of drinks? And yes, I paid for all of it. Even the ones she wrapped and gave to neighbours & friends

You paid all.....gee whiz an well done

 

[TomLane]

Steady on Tom, let's not go over board.

Perhaps the message is particularly biased & probably from a woman's perspective, probably even written by a female.

The point I was trying to make was a general one of taking our partners for advantage sometimes perhaps. We're all guilty of being wrapped up in ourselves to see the bigger picture.

Again, just saying.

 

[Leo21]

That's not exactly how you made out in your first post, so the kids did get presents. Fair enough, you should still by your mrs something though. You'll end up paying for it in the long run in ways you can't even imagine.

 

[tamz]

Maybe you should go along to the counselling VI. You may learn something about relationships. It is not about who paid what nor did this or that.
My wife has never worked for 5 years. She never signed on and effectively has no income so i pay for everything one way or another, even my own presents if i think about it.
Does it bother me.
NO and never will because I LOVE HER

 

[Ermintrude]

Maybe you should go along to the counselling VI. You may learn something about relationships. It is not about who paid what nor did this or that.
My wife has never worked for 5 years. She never signed on and effectively has no income so i pay for everything one way or another, even my own presents if i think about it.
Does it bother me.
NO and never will because I LOVE HER

Takes two to tango.

 

[julesverne]

for me this has to be a wind up.

but if it isn't you should be ashamed of yourself VI the way you treat your kids

 

[TomLane]

Come on guys, let's leave it there.

Don't forget this is in the open forum & it will be seen by the general public.

It's Christmas, emotions are always high for one reason or another lets just let this one go.

We all know what the right thing to do is with regards to how one acts towards ones children & partners, I'm sure deep down IV does too.

Putting my head on the block, I'm politely asking for a mod to close this thread as I respect the guys that are posting & have formed friendships with you I would hate for something negative to occur.

Merry Christmas all.

 

[village idiot]

As my OP says, she asked me what I bought for her? Admittedly, I bought her nothing and had told her I'll be buying her nothing. So by her asking me what I'd bought her, I saw an arguement comming. I gave her Xmas shopping money two weeks before Xmas. We went shopping yesterday and I paid the bills in all the shops. So as far as I'm concerned, she should've bought herself a present on my behalf (she probably did considering how relaxed she has been all day)?
Mat 9am, she came upstairs with a tray saying: 'here daddy, some breakfast for you'. It contained a glass of champaigne, two slices of toast, smoked salmon, poached eggs and two slices of orange.
Regardless of her behaviour, I can guarantee you that she could be a very happy woman if she could just concentrate and do some basic things. Anyway, I'm now upstairs watching Micheal McAntyre on BBC1.

 

[Nostrum]

Typical troll post by a self confessed idiot who was hoping for the violins to come out a few weeks ago because she told him it was over.

Filling some time by getting a reaction off a load of people you don't know (probably because you have not real friends to talk too) on Christmas Day. Shame on you.

If it is true, you sound like an arse who values money far too much, which will mean you are forever unhappy with your life. Anyone can wave a credit/debit card around, using some thought is what makes something special.

You'll die a lonely person unless you change your priorities pal.

Hope everyone else had a cracking Christmas with the most important people in your life close by (that doesn't include yourself V.I) and I really feel sorry for those who have suffered from the the last few days bad weather at this time of year.

Merry Christmas.

 

[dancinplumba]

Enjoy, will leave it with you. Merry Christmas

 

[Billy Bob Bob]

Missus handed me my presents this morning, then asked, ''Where is the present you got for me?'' eerrmmmm, I've got nothing for you.

She says I do this every year and she fails to understand why? It doesn't matter how small the present is, it's the thought that counts. She claims. Well, I've not even open the presents she bought me

you really dont understand wimmin,i had to take mine clothes shopping

 

[townfanjon]

to have to watch Downtown abbey .. max respect on that one !!! I couldn't,
I would rather watch Bradford City , (nah maybe not)

 

[rpm]

Tell me Im wrong but when you start a thread of your own it seems to me like its done for a reaction from others here. I seem to remember at least 3.

 

[PatchettPlumbing]

Reading your posts you seem obsessed with money and you paying for things. Regardless if your kids had presents or not, I'd still buy them something - my little girl got 6 presents but the fact it's Christmas and it's for kids every year!

 

[village idiot]

I think you are making a mountain out of a mole hill. The thread was based on Christmas Arguments, PERIOD. And the fact everyone seems to be of the opinion that no arguments take place amongst spouses, friends, family etc at this time of year is plain nonsense.
How do you consider that I place money before love or caring?
Christmas is not for kids. Never has been. Christmas is a day to celebrate the birth of Christ. It is the likes of you who have made it a day to give presents to everyone and anyone you know. My wife asked me well in advance what present I will be getting her for Xmas, and also asked me what I will like? I told her I want nothing and will no be giving her anything. But to go along with the ''crowd'', I gave her Xmas shopping money. I also went out shopping with her on Xmas eve. Knowing that I was going to buy her nothing, she could just as easily have picked up what she wanted and placed in the trolley (she may well have done). I just moved around the various shops while she and kids pushed trolley and got whatever they got. I paid at the tills without questioning what was bought or why.

The point of my thread was that: there was no need for her to ask what I got her for Xmas as she knew I was getting her nothing. If you have to wait for Christmas to give presents to the ones you love (kids, wife, family), then you need to access your relationship with them. My wife's birthday is at the end of November. She got a lovely necklace, the price of which I will not mention. She keeps saying all her friends compliment her about the necklace. OK, time for someone to say it's all money related? Well, what is all this Xmas presents about? Is it not money related? Nothing to do with £ Wise men bearing gifts. How many of you went to church on Christmas day?

I have no friends, so had to post on Xmas day? So why did you bother responding?
I know where my wife was before we got married. I also know where she is at the moment. Better still, I know what will become of her should we go our separate ways. If we have any ''problems'', it is because she wants us to have them. You meet people, you get to know them and you accept them for what they are. She could do better but choose not to. How many of you get back home from a hard days work and then have to go into the kitchen and cook your own meal? Well?? I have accepted my lot. I choosed her, so can not complain. But she is the one who constantly seems to want more. Funnily enough, she could have more but I see no reason to give any more. As for moving out of the house, that is not going to happen. The house is mine and if she is not happy, the door is that way. As for counselling, I'm going no where to see no Shrink.
Show love throughout the year, not at Christmas.

 

[Rickster123]

And a happy new year!

 

[Nostrum]

You've hardly painted a good picture of yourself though, you've had similar reactions to all the other personal (ie unsure why they were even posted on a plumbing forum) threads you've started by various different people.

Your often ignorant, have no respect for your wife and blantently have no time for her, but expect your meals on the table when you walk in after a days work. Actually, that's not true, because you get meals made but they are not up to your standards so you cook yourself and then complain on having to do so.

You wear the trousers, your wife gets put in her spot when trying to make decisions.

You've obviously mis-understood the average relationship in the vast majority of cases. It sounds like neither of you have respect for each other or enjoy spending time with one another so until one of you can move away from the stalemate your at now you'll both be unhappy.

I've got first hand experience of relationship issues and I realised that if you really want to make it work you have to change yourself rather than be pig headed and expect her to change. A bit of give and you might get a bit back which is the start of making things work.

You have to ask yourself if you do really want it to work though or if your just to scared to be alone.

P.S I still think your tight.

 

[Whl4852]

My missus is like a kid on Xmas day, she loves it, gifts, food the lot. It's a really special time for her and our family. I would be devastated to see her face if I hadn't bothered to get her anything. It's not all about the money either, I just think exchanging presents is a nice thing to do.

Imagine when your missus's friends ask her what she got? I'd be so embarrassed if it were me, but each to their own

 

[village idiot]

Christmas Arguments: Does not say Christmas Argument. I simply started a thread about a conversation with my missus and the whole point was for others to share similar arguments on same day or make fun of it as they so please.

Words That Send shivers Down Your spine: Again was relating to comment(s) that my missus had made, and just wanted others to share experiences of words that sent shivers down their spine or words that they think can send shivers down ones spine.

In both cases, I was not asking for sympathy. My missus can and do go on a 'tanjent' more often than is necessary, but after 20 years, I know her enough not to bother about it. If she wants to walk, she is welcome to. She makes the comments, then says she is sorry. So in reality, it doesn't bother me that much. As for the counseling, if she wants to go, then it's up to her.

As for being tight, eerrrmmm, I'm surely not and do not consider money issues a must. If you want a good example, when pinklady asked me round to look at her bodged boiler job, she wanted to know if any other RGI could sort it and provide a Compliance Cert? If so, could I do it as she has lost fate in the fitters? I went to extremes encouraging her to keep communication lines with them open and to give them the opportunity to sort it out, failing which, I could help. If I was more interested in the money aspect, I would have jumped at the chance.

Today, we have been out visiting relatives. And for all the nieces, nephews, cousins, they each had £20 towards their Xmas present. It definately put a better smile on their faces than if I had gotten them a present they will end up binning. What will my missus say to her friends regarding present I got her? ''Nothing. He always gets me nothing, just gives me money and ask me to buy what is needed?'' So I'm not perturbed.
Someone mentioned earlier that I leave home early in the morning and do not return till late at night. WRONG: I drop my kids off to school on at least THREE days out of the five. Sometimes four days. And I also pick them up from after school play group at 5:45pm on at least three days a week. Sometimes all five days. I miss out on some work as the customer wants me there latest 8am, as they can leave me to it and bugger off to work. I tell them they will have to get someone else as my work times are: 10 am to 5 pm. Some custards come round and drop off the keys or tell me where to find it. Tight with money, NO, m8 not me.

 

[Whl4852]

Fair do's, I bet your a right barrel of laughs at home!

 

[jefaz]

Can we not just close this thread now. No more needs to be said. VI can do what makes him happy and we can do what we want. End of.

 

[julesverne]

Christmas means many different thi gs too many different people in this day and age. Im an atheist pure and through but still respects other peoples religion and right to practice .

For me christmas is about goodwill to all men and women. Its not about money . I may have spent over 500 bar on the missus but the gift she loved the most was personalised coffee mug . Its the small things in life that mean the most

 

[Nostrum]

Moral of the story I suppose is don't bring stories of your personal life onto a public forum and expect a response that isn't anything to do with what you've written.

hope everyone enjoys the rest of the break, I'm enjoying spending some time with my daughter. It's not often I get too for the whole day, she's hard work at times but wish I'd made more time for it throughout the rest of the year, they grow up so fast.

 

[01ST13795]

I personally don't know what you expected to achieve when starting this thread,

 

[Rickster123]

I personally don't know what you expected to achieve when starting this thread,

moral support I think...