Letters to Father Christmas

[Centralheatking]

ALL requests and wants for Christmas & New Year by Plumbers and Heating Engineers should be directed to TAPLAND c/o 'The Plumbers Arms' UKPF

centralheatking

 

[on31ll]

Dear Santa could you liposuction 12 stone of fat from my missus most of it from her arse (could you save it so I can baste the turkey with it ) and give her a boob job as theyre getting a bit saggy, Oh sod it just send me a new one I quite like the look of kelly brooks something like that will do, cheers see you on the 25th.

You best hope your missus never reads this ! Ha ha

 

[Plum Bob 66]

You best hope your missus never reads this ! Ha ha

She did when I was looking at the laptop in bed, she wasn't best pleased :rolleyes2:

 

[Dotty]

i asked for kylie minouge draped over the bonnet of a ferrari one year and got a corgi toy and a calender

Actually, Kylie Minogue draped over anything. Or Scarlett Johansson. Or Lucy Collet.

Any of.

I'm not fussy.

Please?

 

[julesverne]

dear santa,

ive been a good boy can i please have a remote control for the missus so at least once in a while i can press pause for a little bit of peace and quiet.

please please please my sanity depends on it.

 

[Billy Bob Bob]

dear santa,

ive been a good boy can i please have a remote control for the missus so at least once in a while i can press pause for a little bit of peace and quiet.

please please please my sanity depends on it.

they dont come with mute switches but PRS10 is quite effective

 

[Destroyer2813]

Dear Santa i would like a floor standing bender and a rothengerger frezzing machine and a new 24v cordless

 

[Rickster123]

Dear Santa, I'd very much like some of my hair back please, in it's original colour! Oh and that Gameboy you promised me back in 1988!

 

[Guest123]

As plumbers we should all now by now that there aint no Sanity Clause.

 

[REDSAW]

Dear Santa, I'd very much like some of my hair back please, in it's original colour! Oh and that Gameboy you promised me back in 1988!

too late croppies got his teeth into it

 

[Rickster123]

too late croppies got his teeth into it

The worrying thing is if you squint, a lot, it looks abit like mike Jackson!

 

[Dotty]

The worrying thing is if you squint, a lot, it looks abit like mike Jackson!

That's a hell of a lot of squinting!

 

[tamz]

Ye must be on the absinthe. I squinted at that for 5 minutes and still got a burd wi a beard and hairy oxters!

 

[Dotty]

Oxters???????

 

[tamz]

Oxters???????

Armpits for the uneducated who live abroad :smile:

 

[Dotty]

Bet I'm closer to the glorious islands of Islay and Jura than you though! lol

 

[Rickster123]

This is exactly why I should never mix my drinks.

 

[Dotty]

I know exactly how to mix my drinks.

two thirds single malt. one third water.

 

[tamz]

I've been Islayed up from about 6 the night. Couping back a wee quarter cask as i type (thats why i'm slow)

 

[Dotty]

Couple of beers and now on the Talisker.

 

[Orry Clayton]

I know exactly how to mix my drinks.

two thirds single malt. one third water.

I hope that is Russian water.

 

[Dotty]

I hope that is Russian water.

How Very Dare You!

 

[tamz]

Russian water and the whisky will see you to bed for half 8.
Pace yourself and savour the taste :wink:

 

[Centralheatking]

Because I am going to be very busy soon - what with reindeer, all my appearances
at massive craft fair venues ( max 200 people in 3 hrs !) and makin some dosh for
myself and the other c/heatkings.

I would like all your xmas requests in by end of POETS day next week please. The best ones and the worst ones we can discuss during our friday pm beers - i have ordered a huge-immense-in fact infinite case of Orangeboom for next friday to process all your requests - any pictures would help the reindeer as they can only read boiler mannuals.

centralheatking

 

[kay-jay]

all i want for xmas is for croppie to get a frigging round in!:santa_smiley: