M
Masood
That's Croppie's patented chat-up line!
Welcome to the forum. Although you can post in any forum, the USA forum is here in case of local regs or laws
Discuss a monday pick me up contains adult humour in the Plumbing Jobs | The Job-board area at Plumbers Forums
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That's Croppie's patented chat-up line!
B
Billy Bob Bob
http://sboisse.free.fr/fun/ecran.swf
how to remove dust from the inside of your pc screen
how to remove dust from the inside of your pc screen
Make sure the kids, Mother In law, esteemed Clergy are not present when using this tool.
Emmm I'll leave the clergy warning to your own discretion, some may expect you to exchange site names, bookmarks etc
B
Billy Bob Bob
thats why its in hereMake sure the kids, Mother In law, esteemed Clergy are not present when using this tool.
Emmm I'll leave the clergy warning to your own discretion, some may expect you to exchange site names, bookmarks etc
T
TomLane
Wigan Athletic should have hired my wife as manager.
She's never been known to go down.
She's never been known to go down.
M
Masood
Why would you want someone else's used toys????
- Messages
- 5,481
Paddy meet`s Mick coming out of confession at church did father O`Shea forgive your sin`s ..no say`s Mick I told him I had been unfaithful to the Wife..Father said with who were you unfaithful ..I can`t say father ..then let me help you my son was it Mrs O`reilly ..no father...was it Freda O`flannagen ..no father.. was it Mary O'Connor...no father ..well my son I cannot forgive your sin`s go and come back when you feel you can tell me...Paddy say`s that`s a shame then ..not really said Mick I got three hot tip`s while I was there...regards turnpin:35:
D
Dotty
Hopefully I'm not the only one who panicked trying to shut the tab before SWMBO turned round and see that.......
All I could hear in my head was a high pitched shrieking and "Turnitoffturnitoffturnitoff!"
B
Billy Bob Bob
One day a little boy woke up and sat down at the table expecting breakfast. However, his mother says, "You don't get any breakfast until you do your chores."
---
A little ****ed off, the boy goes out to do his chores. When he goes to milk the cow, he kicks it. When he goes to get eggs he kicks a chicken, and when he goes to feed the pigs, he kicks a pig.
When the little boy sits down his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "Where is the bacon, eggs and milk?" asks the little boy. His mother replies, "I saw you kick the cow, so you don't get any milk; I saw you kick a chicken so you don't get eggs; and I saw you kick a pig so you don't get any bacon!"
Just as she finishes saying this, the boy's father comes down the stairs and kicks the cat. The little boy looks up at his mother and asks, "Do you want to tell him, or should I?
---
A little ****ed off, the boy goes out to do his chores. When he goes to milk the cow, he kicks it. When he goes to get eggs he kicks a chicken, and when he goes to feed the pigs, he kicks a pig.
When the little boy sits down his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "Where is the bacon, eggs and milk?" asks the little boy. His mother replies, "I saw you kick the cow, so you don't get any milk; I saw you kick a chicken so you don't get eggs; and I saw you kick a pig so you don't get any bacon!"
Just as she finishes saying this, the boy's father comes down the stairs and kicks the cat. The little boy looks up at his mother and asks, "Do you want to tell him, or should I?
D
Dotty
[h=5]A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She put on her robe and went downstairs. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared to be deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She saw him wipe a tear from his eye and take a sip of his coffee.
“What’s the matter dear? Why are you down here at this time of night?” she asked.
“Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating and you were only 16?” he asked.
“Yes I do.” she replied.
“Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?”
“Yes I remember.”
“Do you remember your father when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said.’Either you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail’?”
“Yes I do”, she replied.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, ” You know I would have gotten out today.”[/h]
“What’s the matter dear? Why are you down here at this time of night?” she asked.
“Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating and you were only 16?” he asked.
“Yes I do.” she replied.
“Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?”
“Yes I remember.”
“Do you remember your father when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said.’Either you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail’?”
“Yes I do”, she replied.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, ” You know I would have gotten out today.”[/h]
D
Dotty
I stopped a woman as she walked out of the supermarket today and said, "Excuse me, do you mind unzipping your jacket for me please?"
"I'm not a thief!" she replied.
"Nobody is calling you a thief," I said, "Just quickly unzip it and then you can be on your way."
"Happy now?" she huffed, holding it wide open.
"Totally," I said, "Your **** are ****ing amazing."
"I'm not a thief!" she replied.
"Nobody is calling you a thief," I said, "Just quickly unzip it and then you can be on your way."
"Happy now?" she huffed, holding it wide open.
"Totally," I said, "Your **** are ****ing amazing."
D
Dotty
The wife was asleep when I went to visit her in hospital, so I decided to relieve the boredom by pulling at a loose thread.
The next thing I know there's blood everywhere and people screaming. Turns out those Caesarian stiches are in for a reason.
The next thing I know there's blood everywhere and people screaming. Turns out those Caesarian stiches are in for a reason.
D
Dotty
On my way to work this morning, I noticed the man driving next to me was texting whilst driving.
Knowing how dangerous that can be, I promptly rolled down my window and threw my beer at him.
Knowing how dangerous that can be, I promptly rolled down my window and threw my beer at him.
D
Dotty
I was installing a light in the loft today, when I slipped off a joist and put my foot right through the bedroom ceiling. It scared the **** out of my girlfriend.
I'm not surprised though, she kicked me out last August.
I'm not surprised though, she kicked me out last August.
- Messages
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On a plane a man sit`s down next to a stunning blond interlectual type reading a book about men of the world ."excuse me but that look`s interesting" .."yes she say`s did you know that the red indian apache tribe were reknown for their long sexual organ`s and that Polish men actually have the most sexual stamina in the northern hemisphere..?" I`m Dr Mary Smith from Harvard university in the USA....Oh replie`s the man Tonto waskanski from the UK how do you do?.....regards turnpin:lol:
K
Kyle87
Paddy goes into Wetherspoons and asks how much is your lager?
The Barman says,
"£2 for a pint and £7 for a Pitcher"
Paddy replied
" i'll have a pint, **** the photo"!!!!
The Barman says,
"£2 for a pint and £7 for a Pitcher"
Paddy replied
" i'll have a pint, **** the photo"!!!!
M
Masood
O
on31ll
So thats how system3 injuried his ankle !
R
Resolute
D
Dotty
M
Masood
M
Masood
D
Dotty
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