Week 3 in the great Intergas virgin give-away

[rpm]

A plumber`s life is not always a happy one
We leave home early and get back when the work is done
We can go home feeling tired, dirty and smelly
Often to find the wife curled up snug watching the telly

People think plumber`s earn 50K
If only, if only I hear you say
The vans cost a fortune but don`t really last
They are made from tin foil and rust really fast

I know what`s wrong can you do it customers ask
This sort are generally a pain in the arse
Often we hear can you come and see what you can do
Yet when we get there we are number 8 in the queue

Customers will lie and yell you broke my TV
We weren`t in the room so how can that be
Often we ask where is the stopcock
And the customer stares back in a state of shock

Trainees can be good and some are real bad
Just try and remember they are only wee lads
Our job is to train them, take them there and here
If only the mobile wasn`t glued to their ear

We spend our money on stock for the van
Yet thieving swine help themselves when they can
Customers agree the price at the start
Yet when you give them the bill they look like you`ve just dropped a fart

(See below)

 

[rpm]

Gas safe is a total joke
Yet the money they want can make you choke
Cowboys can do the job supper fast
Customer pays peanuts yet expects it to last

Customers see adverts this one they say
But don`t understand and will not be swayed
Boilers oh they come and they go
Some are good whilst others are poo

Plumber`s, Brickys and Sparks on site don`t mix
Sometimes you have to give them a kick
We can leave a job all sweet n sound
Yet 2 weeks later the call is can come you pop round

Oh a plumber`s life is not always a happy one.

 

[Riley]

Mental torture is heavy this week

 

[Rickster123]

Rpm is a secret lyrical genius! He's like the P Diddy of the plumbing world!

 

[rpm]

Mental torture is heavy this week

Oi, my words aren`t that bad! lol

 

[Riley]

Oi, my words aren`t that bad! lol

Ha ha what's the cut off for this?

 

[Ray Stafford]

Mental torture is heavy this week

Thats a very heavy piece of post-modern blank verse. Probably good for critical aclaim, but not sure its going to go down well with the masses.

 

[Riley]

Been at glasto working ray no wifi so I assumed I'd missed the cut off

 

[Ray Stafford]

Ha ha what's the cut off for this?

CLose of business tomorrow.

 

[Riley]

Cool I'll try and come up with something most eloquent and poetic

 

[Unregistered]

Intergas intergas where for art thou
Yeah is me all own wok
plagiarism ? don't no wot u mean
seriously I don't
Ray s the sun and his intergas boilers are the moon
(use your imagination)
the vaillants and thee worcesters
are like the montagues and capulets
ugly bruisers thlnk croppie
your 4 moving parts are like a sonnet (more imagination required)
if I dont win a boiler I may have to wire up separate transmitter and receiver
and like romeo I might stab myself
with a small screwdriver-HURT- it could be terminal
boiler entry
more realistically begging for buscuits ray

 

[billybob150811]

my computer is ignoring me it takes after the children that was my entry ray

 

[Ray Stafford]

Intergas intergas where for art thou
Yeah is me all own wok
plagiarism ? don't no wot u mean
seriously I don't
Ray s the sun and his intergas boilers are the moon
(use your imagination)
the vaillants and thee worcesters
are like the montagues and capulets
ugly bruisers thlnk croppie
your 4 moving parts are like a sonnet (more imagination required)
if I dont win a boiler I may have to wire up separate transmitter and receiver
and like romeo I might stab myself
with a small screwdriver-HURT- it could be terminal
boiler entry
more realistically begging for buscuits ray

Sorry Mr Wordsworth, but you are showing as "unregistered guest". You need to log in and take ownership of your master-work!

 

[rpm]

Mental torture is heavy this week
If I am to find the words that I seek
I fear easy it will not be
Perhaps I need the help of a cup of tea

The words I write must come from my mind
No copying or using from other sweet kind
The words I use must not contain swears
Only of the toil and trouble the sweat and the tears

 

[Dotty]

Our forum.

It`s free to join and the wealth of knowledge here is immense
Questions vary from the very expensive to those of a few pence
It doesn`t matter if your young or old
Just post your question jump in and be bold

It helps if you register and say a few words
Don`t worry it doesn`t have to be much
DIY or professional it doesn`t matter to us
We are all commoners here with a common touch

We don`t just talk plumbing it is one of a few
Dogs, Cats, Sport and her indoors will do
Tales of family woe and tales of pride
It`s all here to be shared and not always with the bride

You will find we talk of the good and the bad
Mostly we are happy but some seem to be sad
You can post pictures asking what is this and what does it do
Our answers will always be honest and true

Before talking gas there is a test you must take
Please understand it really is for your own sake
On this subject the mods here will take a firm stand
And anyone that breaks the rule will be banned

No swearing or lewd words are allowed
The forum is made up of a pleasant crowd
There will be banter keep it clean we all ask
Or the mods will come knocking and take you to task

Talking of mods there is one best not to cross
He wields strong words and is known to have strops
He lives far away but his reach it is long
One click of a button and that`s it you will be gone

I do not have strops!

 

[Dotty]

Intergas intergas where for art thou
Yeah is me all own wok
plagiarism ? don't no wot u mean
seriously I don't
Ray s the sun and his intergas boilers are the moon
(use your imagination)
the vaillants and thee worcesters
are like the montagues and capulets
ugly bruisers thlnk croppie
your 4 moving parts are like a sonnet (more imagination required)
if I dont win a boiler I may have to wire up separate transmitter and receiver
and like romeo I might stab myself
with a small screwdriver-HURT- it could be terminal
boiler entry
more realistically begging for buscuits ray

my computer is ignoring me it takes after the children that was my entry ray

Sorry Mr Wordsworth, but you are showing as "unregistered guest". You need to log in and take ownership of your master-work!

Was Billybob, Ray.

Think the excitement got to him.

 

[Rickster123]

Billybobs scared me a bit if I'm honest!

 

[rpm]

I do not have strops!

ALL TOGETHER NOW BOYS!

Oh yes you do! lol

 

[Ch4 plumbing]

ALL TOGETHER NOW BOYS!

Oh yes you do! lol

Someone's looking for a holiday haha

 

[turnpin]

A likeable rogue called Ray
From William's and Co down Fareham way
Appeared on these forum's
No hint of decorum
Proceeded to give thing's away
With the help of Mr.Zouch Mr.Burton and Mr.Boyce
Came a compotition that made some rejoice
If you win the Intergas prize
It may come as a surprise
It will only cost you a review
If you don't win this time
Drop William's a line
And open a winning account today.......

Regards Turnpin
mystery prize

 

[rpm]

Someone's looking for a holiday haha

Sir I am of mild manners and meek I have no wish to upset those I do meet.
Banter I call it but should I step outa line then ready I am to apologise every time.

 

[Rickster123]

Sir I am of mild manners and meek I have no wish to upset those I do meet.
Banter I call it but should I step outa line then ready I am to apologise every time.

If you get me a pen I'll be your bestest friend In the world!...

 

[Ch4 plumbing]

I'm so far off competing in this weeks thread it's unreal!!

 

[rpm]

If you get me a pen I'll be your bestest friend In the world!...

You still owe me for the coffee! lol

 

[Ch4 plumbing]

If you get me a pen I'll be your bestest friend In the world!...

With torch.....a pen with a torch.