Week 3 in the great Intergas virgin give-away

[Rickster123]

You still owe me for the coffee! lol

I thought that was a gift!? There was no biscuits....

 

[rpm]

If you get me a pen I'll be your bestest friend In the world!...

After all my hard work I`m hoping for more that a ruddy pen but if I do get one then how much you offering?

 

[rpm]

With torch.....a pen with a torch.

Look here don`t you start giving him ideas!

 

[Ch4 plumbing]

I'm only saying pens are two a dozen! APP deserves a little bit more don't you agree?

 

[rpm]

I'm only saying pens are two a dozen! APP deserves a little bit more don't you agree?

For doing what?

 

[Rickster123]

For doing what?

For being a genuinely bloody nice bloke?

 

[Dotty]

For being a genuinely bloody nice bloke?

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha oh.......

You're serious.....

 

[Ch4 plumbing]

For he's a jolly good felllllllllllllow hang on I've got the WRONG bloke sorry APP:30:

 

[Rickster123]

Ray knows a good egg when he sees one...

 

[IDCHAPPY]

Man, the bars real high here...

 

[REDSAW]

well done lord ray, your 8000 today

too win a boiler from you, or not

either way i will not give a tot

as next week i'm on oliday.


tho ponderance based on this

however, not to take the p1ss

it is up to me upon my return

if ye shall stay for 8001,

heres to a happy return.....
:50::46:arty:resents2:

 

[IDCHAPPY]

A boiler reminds me of my wife,
They both play a big part in my life,
They both always run hot and cold,
And get temperamental as the get old.

I service each boiler once a year,
usually when my wife asks" can you service me dear",
The boiler manual is good to look through,
I wish the wife came with instructions too,

When my wife and i fall out,
She always seems to scream and shout,
Just like a boiler when it's starting to break,
With the grumbling moaning and strange noises it makes,

Then i work out what boiler part to buy,
Sometimes i think "I'll give this part a try",
At least a boiler will give me a clue,
For my wifes birthday present i never know what to do,

But i know with a little hard work and time,
I will get that boiler running just fine,
And just like my marriage that runs cold and hot,
I will always try and fix it no matter what....

 

[jonnyswamp]

A boiler reminds me of my wife,
They both play a big part in my life,
They both always run hot and cold,
And get temperamental as the get old.

I service each boiler once a year,
usually when my wife asks" can you service me dear",
The boiler manual is good to look through,
I wish the wife came with instructions too,

When my wife and i fall out,
She always seems to scream and shout,
Just like a boiler when it's starting to break,
With the grumbling moaning and strange noises it makes,

Then i work out what boiler part to buy,
Sometimes i think "I'll give this part a try",
At least a boiler will give me a clue,
For my wifes birthday present i never know what to do,

But i know with a little hard work and time,
I will get that boiler running just fine,
And just like my marriage that runs cold and hot,
I will always try and fix it no matter what....

Ya big softie:smile:

 

[IDCHAPPY]

Not what the wife calls me mate :lol:

 

[Ray Stafford]

sorry guys - its going to be tomorrow before I can give this the attention it deserves, which gives everyone a last chance to submit some award winning verse!

 

[Rickster123]

Chappy I'm welling up here mate!

 

[lame plumber]

ray likes tulips, he's ok
the squirrels love him as they eat all day
he drives a car thats made of rice
he never cared tho, coz of its price
he sells his goods, most every day
they cost us dear and he makes us pay.
he aint so bad, he gives things away
I wish to good we didnt have to play!!

 

[rpm]

So the evil shopkeeper did show his dark side
He set us a task of which the winner he alone will decide
He asked for poems to be sent in and Gizmolang went first
Followed by others with their rhymes and verse

AP entered with only two lines
Guess that proves he is one of a kind
He seems pretty keen and pesters for a pen
Offering body parts that belong only to him

Along came Masood his entry was strong and showed wit per verse
I applaud his entry and fear others will be worse
Then along came Stroppy his entry didn`t rhyme
He said he didn`t care so why take the time

Lame made an entry telling a tale of Jon
And how he was naughty yet came back with aplomb
Anz spoke of Ray and of his shop
He compared it to being as large as the Co-op

ID`s tale was of trouble and strife
Comparing his old boiler with his sweet wife
Jonnyswamp told of fishing and how there was none
Think he was tired and wished he hadn`t gone

Before I go a request of Ray I must ask
Fear not Ray a simple pen is the task
Then a picture I could post and wave under the poor souls nose
I`m sure you know who and how the game goes

Forgive me please if I didn`t mention you
I have read them all and that is true
This is not an entry for a prize
It`s just been fun from dawn to sunrise

I will now stop with my words and verse
You see I`ve had all week with you to converse
Cold beer in one hand with paper and pen
But the garden beckons and I can`t see the hen

 

[jonnyswamp]

Ray, Ray, what can I say
To convince you, that I am worthy
For the Intergas boiler
Natural gas, not an oiler
Cos I'm starting to smell rather earthy

My days are like most
They start with some toast
Washed down with three cups of tea
Then out to the van, without much of a plan
To the custard who's shouted the most

Small yapping dogs, along with pet frogs
I pretend that they are my friend
My face wears a smile
Just for a while
To the boiler they want me to mend

They say "are you done, its just turned one
You said it might take you longer"
Fake smile again
Then count up to ten
I really should try to be stronger

It's took me four hours, so you can have showers
Plus a trip back down to plumb center
"its not on your van?
I think its a scam"
I'M A PLUMBER, NOT A FLIPPIN INVENTOR!

On to the next one, just like the first one
Only three cats and a turtle
Go through it again
Will it end? tell me when
My head is turning quite purple

Pull onto my drive, feeling barely alive
Smelling of all things four legged
Then realise
Without much suprise
That my own hot water's just tepid

Pretty much sums up my day today

 

[Ray Stafford]

Ahh, sorry guys.

A family emergency intervened, so we are a bit later than advertised.

See the poll threads here and here...

 

[Rickster123]

Ahh, sorry guys.

A family emergency intervened, so we are a bit later than advertised.

See the poll threads here and here...

Hope all is well with the family now mate.

 

[Ray Stafford]

Hope all is well with the family now mate.

Not so great Adam, but thanks for your good wishes. I'm afraid this one ends with a church service and a trip to the crematorium. Perhaps not unexpected given that the lady was in her nineties, but no less unwelcome, nevertheless.

Requiescat in pace.

 

[Rickster123]

Not so great Adam, but thanks for your good wishes. I'm afraid this one ends with a church service and a trip to the crematorium. Perhaps not unexpected given that the lady was in her nineties, but no less unwelcome, nevertheless.

Requiescat in pace.

Sorry to hear that mate. Thoughts are with you and yours.

 

[Masood]

Not so great Adam, but thanks for your good wishes. I'm afraid this one ends with a church service and a trip to the crematorium. Perhaps not unexpected given that the lady was in her nineties, but no less unwelcome, nevertheless.

Requiescat in pace.

Sorry for your loss Ray...

 

[Dotty]

Thoughts are with you and the Stafford family circle.