a monday pick me up contains adult humour | Plumbing Jobs | The Job-board | Page 101 | Plumbers Forums

Welcome to the forum. Although you can post in any forum, the USA forum is here in case of local regs or laws

a monday pick me up contains adult humour

Post thread
  • Thread starter Barry98
  • Start date
  • Replies 3K
  • Views 68K

Discuss a monday pick me up contains adult humour in the Plumbing Jobs | The Job-board area at Plumbers Forums

Status
Not open for further replies.
A fella joins a silent monastic order..at his induction he is informed that every five years he will be allowed to say two words......after five years hes called in foods cold he says.......another five years on again he is called in ...beds hard he says....another five years on again he is called in....I'm off and leaves the head monkturns to his second in command and says I'm glad he's gone hasn't stopped ******* complaining since he got here............regards Turnpin:smilielol5:
 
I was in bed with the wife the other night and she said if I turned the bedside light out she'd take it up the arse...

Maybe I should have let it cool down a bit first.
 
10552.jpg
 
I've just paid for my wife and her mother to go to Paris for two weeks.

That's how much I hate the ****ing French.
 
I just got my wife a man utd bra and she hates it. She says the support is crap and it wont be long before the **** are out of both cups.
 
A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory. The personnel manager explains her duties, and tells her to report to work promptly at 8:00 AM.

The next day at 8:45 AM, there's a knock at the personnel manager's door. The assembly line foreman comes in and starts ranting about this new employee.

He says she's incredibly slow, and the whole line is backing up. The foreman takes the personnel manager down to the factory floor to show him the problem.

Sure enough, Elmos are backed up all over the place. At the end of the line is the new employee. She has a roll of the material used for the Elmos and a big bag of marbles. They both watch as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles, and starts sewing the little package between Elmo's legs.

The personnel manager starts laughing hysterically. After several minutes, he pulls himself together, walks over to the woman, and says, "I'm sorry, I guess you misunderstood me yesterday. Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."
 
Bloke in a pub gets talking to the lady as you do.. then the conversation popped up about having sex and he said he'd never had it before.
Anyway she offered him over later that evening to show how to do a 69
Later there was a knock on the front door, she let's him in and into the bedroom.
She says "take off your clothes! "
He strips off fast.
They get into the sex position and then she accidentally FARTS "prrrrp"
She apologies "I'm sorry it won't happen again"
"Ok", he replied
Third attempt....."prrrp"
"OMG" she said
Bloke then gets up and says "whatever it was I dnno, but aint gner be waiting a round for the 66..
 
Upstairs under floor heating loll pmsl.. yep deffo doesn't understand the principles of convection current.
 
New posts
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar plumbing topics

W
Worcester Boiler on the Blink... Literally! All Lights Flashing
pcb issue so gas safe engy required sorry to say
Replies
1
Views
769
ShaunCorbs
ShaunCorbs
A
Boiler short cycling CH
So you don’t have any of the blending valves /...
Replies
3
Views
2K
ShaunCorbs
ShaunCorbs
U
My first experience with CheckATrade
Bit late to the show but I would have beeen...
Replies
2
Views
854
Bogart
Bogart
M
Thermostat Not Dropping Quickly Enough
Based on the information in post #1, my guess...
Replies
4
Views
1K
Chuck
C
T
Is my circulation pump failing or my boiler control?
No I do not. Second to that I don’t even have...
Replies
3
Views
1K
thebigsleep
T
Back
Top