a monday pick me up contains adult humour

[CES]

View attachment 11855

Can anyone enter?

Ooohh!.. This should be interesting when John reads it.. (sits back with beer and popcorn at the ready)..

 

[Barry98]

Keffy what brand of trainers do you wear

 

[Keefy]

Kerry what brand of trainers do you wear

Who's Kerry?

 

[Barry98]

Who's Kerry?

You I'd already edited it

 

[Keefy]

You I'd already edited it

LOL Oh right, erm I don't wear trainers. You're suggesting I get a pair of fast ones and quick though, aren't you?

 

[Dotty]

View attachment 11855

Can anyone enter?

Right.

 

[Barry98]

LOL Oh right, erm I don't wear trainers. You're suggesting I get a pair of fast ones and quick though, aren't you?

I am yes , but too late

 

[Dotty]

Infraction issued to Keefy for being a git.

 

[Barry98]

Infraction removed cos it was funny as f

 

[Keefy]

 

[Barry98]

I thought this was real till I read it all

 

[Howsie]

Bond.

 

[Billy Bob Bob]

Ed came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.

He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ed.'

Ed was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'

St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'

Ed was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground..

A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'

'Not bad,' replied Ed the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'

'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?'

'Never,' said Ed.

'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'

He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming..

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard.....

"Ed, wake up! You **** the bed!"

 

[Barry98]

Paddy was telling Mick about his first sky dive.
When I got to the door I couldn't jump.
So the 6ft 7” black instructor unzips his fly & drops out his 10 inches
& says if you don't jump you're going to get this baby up your arse !......
Mick asks "Did you jump?".
Paddy replies "A little bit when it first went in".

 

[Barry98]

An Aussie walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says: "Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."
His girlfriend is lying in bed and replies: "I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."
The man says: " I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you."

 

[Billy Bob Bob]

he did not have sexual relations apperntly:smile5:

 

[Ray Stafford]

 

[Keefy]

Michael Schiavello On Mainus Being Cut and Bleeding (Video) | Addicted MMA | Mixed martial arts

 

[villa_tom]

Boys and Girls. Take two minute and 16 seconds of your lives to watch this. I was nearly crying

Art Attack - How To Draw A Cock - YouTube

 

[Keefy]

Ha ha, cracked me up that.

Reminded me of this:
[h=1]Rainbow The Rude Episode![/h]

 

[Keefy]

Oops, this even...

Rainbow The Rude Episode! - YouTube

 

[CES]

Stolen from Facebook. True words though...

 

[Billy Bob Bob]

LONELY HEARTS ADVERT;

Premature ejeculator seeks a young attractive women for fling.....

must have large breasts,big lips,a tight arse, and ........ aaaaaw, ****sake!!..., never mind

 

[Howsie]

http://www.thepoke.co.uk/2013/03/27/the-best-news-bloopers-of-march-2013/

A few good ones in here...

 

[TomLane]

I can't wait for summer.

It's on a Wednesday this year.