a monday pick me up contains adult humour

[turnpin]

Man run's into a pub and say's quick give me a treble brandy and swallow's it before the barman can tell him the price...Blimey say's the barman that was fast ...you'd drink it that fast if you had what i'v got...and what's that then ...fifty pence said the fella....regards turnpin:8:

 

[TomLane]

I used to think that my girlfriend not wearing any knickers under her skirt would be sexy

Until I saw the skidmarks on my sofa.

 

[Kyle87]

I used to think that my girlfriend not wearing any knickers under her skirt would be sexy

Until I saw the skidmarks on my sofa.

Ha ha love it

 

[Barry98]

made me laugh

 

[Barry98]

Love it

 

[Howsie]

Since I can't find the local hospital at the new town we moved into, I'm going to let the wife drive.

We'll get there one way or another.

 

[SafeGasInstall]

That is so us this days

Since I can't find the local hospital at the new town we moved into, I'm going to let the wife drive.

We'll get there one way or another.

 

[Howsie]

The rules of Rugby'ish: http://youtu.be/vKgV8Go9t3o

 

[TomLane]

I asked my Welsh mate how many sexual partners he's had


He started counting and then fell asleep.

 

[Barry98]

Just listening to 50 cents , not impressed

 

[kay-jay]

multi tasking.......

 

[Barry98]

I tried to create a help group for people who can't have orgasms, but nobody came.

 

[Barry98]

The missus left a note on the fridge, saying its not working, I'm staying at my mum's for a while!


I opened it, the light came on and the beer was cold. Sod knows what she was on about!

 

[Barry98]

Been waiting at the pub for my wife to pick me up for hours now.


How longs it take to have a baby for gods sake.

 

[Barry98]

Teacher: Now then class, let's do some simple sums. I give you £10 and you take a £1. What do I have?


Little Johnny: A bank account in Cyprus, Miss.

 

[kay-jay]

One night a little girl walks in on her parents having sex. The mother is going up and down on the father and when she see her daughter looking at them she immediately stops.
“What are you doing, Mommy?” The mother too embarassed to tell her little girl about sex so she makes up an answer.
“Well, sweetie, sometimes daddy’s tummy gets too big so I have to jump up and down on it to flatten it out.”
The little girl replies, “Well, mommy you really shouldn’t bother with that.”
The mother has a confused look on her face, “Why do you say that sweetheart?”
The little girl replies, “Because mommy, everytime you leave in the morning, the lady next door comes over and blows it back up again

 

[SafeGasInstall]

I have to admit I just copied it and posted it on a fb Martin ! Good one

 

[TomLane]

Response

 

[Barry98]

From Facebook

 

[Keefy]

 

[dancinplumba]

View attachment 11852

thats Villa Toms mum !!

 

[Mike Jackson]

I thought it was croppie.

 

[TomLane]

I thought it was croppie.

Ha, Mike I'm glad you said that! It was on my mind to say it but didn't fancy the infraction! You can get away with it though!

 

[Barry98]

View attachment 11853On the notice board for tomorrow

 

[Keefy]

Can anyone enter?