Bog Etiquette

[Toxic Ted]

I once knew a plasterer who would pysh in the bucket with his mixing water. There are a few pyshy walls out there :lol:

That sounds more like a Paisley thing than a Glasgee......

 

[tamz]

It was an east kilbride thing :smile:

 

[Phil]

I was in the middle of a big job and was dying for a jobby all day but I held it in as best I could.... so much so that I was doing those weird internal farts where you fart within yourself and was crippled in agony until I could hold it in no longer....... I went in their ensuite (bathroom was out of action) and layed King Kong's finger down the bowl.

The smell was stripping the tiles of the walls and of course when I flushed it all the water rose up and it wouldnt go down......then Tony the customer came into his bedroom wanting to go to the toilet, he asked if I was in there and I said I would be right out.

In my panic I flushed again but the bowl was nearly full of water and it overspilt......I hadn't even wiped my ar$e and I was frantically mopping up water from the floor with the few sheets I had left on the roll. Then to my relief the toilet started gurgling and suddenly went down.....God the relief! because I knew Tony was waiting me out in his bedroom. I had to dry the rest of the floor with the bath mat and came out looking sheepish.

Dumb and Dumber - Toilet Scene - YouTube

 

[Kyle87]

Nothing worse than when you poop in a custards loo and its one of those that come out your 4rse but doesn't drop off. It just keeps going and then breaks in the middle. And no amount of shaking your backside will make the last dollop drop off and you think to yourself......

1. I hope they have enough loo roll
2. I hope they arnt nearby as this will need flushing halfway through as I'm going to use a ton of roll..
3. Please be a tin of air fresher in te cupboard.


This is my nightmare but doesn't stop me going!!

 

[Phil]

Better a customers than the pubs on a Friday/ Sat night. Check out the 1 inch deep urine lake on the entire floor with it being trailed back into the pub carpet.
My gf had to contend with a pair of wee soaked tights on the floor in the ladies cubivle......apparently wee all over the floor is commanplace in there aswell as drunk woman hover over the bowl and miss.

 

[Ermintrude]

Poo pains are the worst. My parents live in middle of nowhere. Used to get bus to and from school & IV form 1 hour each way. Remember having to unbuckle my belt to relieve some if the pressure,

 

[Kyle87]

Better a customers than the pubs on a Friday/ Sat night. Check out the 1 inch deep urine lake on the entire floor with it being trailed back into the pub carpet.
My gf had to contend with a pair of wee soaked tights on the floor in the ladies cubivle......apparently wee all over the floor is commanplace in there aswell as drunk woman hover over the bowl and miss.

My first job as a glass collecter in a hotel had me with a bucket and a rubber glove picking regurgitated chicken out of a urinal while punters pished into the other end at a function......nice!!

 

[Centralheatking]

Never... if they are in but OK if the place is empty Centralheatking

Is it ok to use a custards loo for a no 2? Discuss

 

[Leo21]

Never... if they are in but OK if the place is empty Centralheatking

Never! Is that even possible.

 

[Kyle87]

Never! Is that even possible.

Only if he uses the bung he normally puts in FnE tank

 

[kay-jay]

those familiar with my 'pee-sink' avatar will understand that my opinions on this matter need hardly be mentioned :yesnod:

 

[Kyle87]

those familiar with my 'pee-sink' avatar will understand that my opinions on this matter need hardly be mentioned :yesnod:

Your an anywhere anytime kind of guy!!

 

[kay-jay]

its an important part of the commissioning process :yesnod:

 

[Rickster123]

The worst part of it for me is when you walk out of the bog after a 20 minute sit and several flushes later. (Flushes are poor these days) only to find the customer on the landing waiting to use it straight after. There's always that awkward silence during the afternoon.

 

[lame plumber]

reminds me of being in the RN. As the heads (loos) were down a long cold steel corridor, if you had a cabin the basin/urinal was a godsend, unless you shared the cabin with another lazy git like me . Come the morning I used to stifle my laughter as my cabin mate picked his toothbrush out the sink and brushed his teeth. The reverse also applied when I ipicked my brush out of the glass and scrubbed away to see him curlled up on the floor as he had used it to poke his vomit down the plughole earlier in the morning, my mouth tasted so bad anyhow I hadnt noticed.

 

[Kyle87]

I tend to get my phone out and browse ukpf when on the bog so next time I'm replying to something you put......I may also be having a squeeze

 

[lame plumber]

worse than using their bog is just as your going in to whip it out they go, "one last go before you start" and leave you with the consequenses!!!!! walked away a couple of times when that happens Or when some 1/2 brain asks for a quote to upgrade their bathroom, and you amble in to find a wc bowl brimming with ****, and they say that it needs sorting as well!!!!!!!!!!!! didnt even walk fm that one, just ran (dirty sod)

 

[Ermintrude]

Had to move the collective pee bucket on a large renovation in the summer, my eyes burned!

 

[Phil]

My mate was working at a big house with a really posh stuck up lady customer.......a joiner who was also working there was caught hovering over a bucket in the garage curling one out....she had opened the garage door on him and didn't know where to put herself I don't think the joiner gave the **** he was having. She was all.... "well I've never" and "this is going straight back to my husband!"

Why he was using a bucket I don't know!

 

[REDSAW]

Nothing worse than when you poop in a custards loo and its one of those that come out your 4rse but doesn't drop off. It just keeps going and then breaks in the middle. And no amount of shaking your backside will make the last dollop drop off and you think to yourself......

1. I hope they have enough loo roll
2. I hope they arnt nearby as this will need flushing halfway through as I'm going to use a ton of roll..
3. Please be a tin of air fresher in te cupboard.


This is my nightmare but doesn't stop me going!!

we call them clingons!

 

[Centralheatking]

One of my transits a few years ago had a special modification. When we did medi gas all
over the country the fellas wanted to play cards and drink beer on the way back.

So to save stops I put a 2 inch plastic waste pipe vertically down thro a rust hole in the back
by the back doors - so anybody who wanted a wee could do - right onto M6 - we did not employ
girls


centralheatking

Yes, as they tend to get snippy when you use a welly boot.

 

[lame plumber]

One of my transits a few years ago had a special modification. When we did medi gas all
over the country the fellas wanted to play cards and drink beer on the way back.

So to save stops I put a 2 inch plastic waste pipe vertically down thro a rust hole in the back
by the back doors - so anybody who wanted a wee could do - right onto M6 - we did not employ
girls


centralheatking

same as the RN seaking helicopter then , watch out if one goes over and it rains yellow

 

[stevetheplumber]

Had to move the collective pee bucket on a large renovation in the summer, my eyes burned!

years ago on a job they had cut down 50 gallon oil drums as **** buckets on each landing when the builder gave a couple of lads there marching orders they poured the lot over him as he walked down the stairs

 

[Phil]

Ha ha is **** wee or jobby?

 

[cr0ft]

I was in the middle of a big job and was dying for a jobby all day but I held it in as best I could.... so much so that I was doing those weird internal farts where you fart within yourself and was crippled in agony until I could hold it in no longer....... I went in their ensuite (bathroom was out of action) and layed King Kong's finger down the bowl.

The smell was stripping the tiles of the walls and of course when I flushed it all the water rose up and it wouldnt go down......then Tony the customer came into his bedroom wanting to go to the toilet, he asked if I was in there and I said I would be right out.

In my panic I flushed again but the bowl was nearly full of water and it overspilt......I hadn't even wiped my ar$e and I was frantically mopping up water from the floor with the few sheets I had left on the roll. Then to my relief the toilet started gurgling and suddenly went down.....God the relief! because I knew Tony was waiting me out in his bedroom. I had to dry the rest of the floor with the bath mat and came out looking sheepish.

Dumb and Dumber - Toilet Scene - YouTube

If you think that is painful, the other night I stupidly decided to eat a huge meal then go for a 10 mile run. Or that was the plan. 3 miles in, I suddenly felt the need to simultaneously vomit, **** and crap myself all at once. Got those internal farts and they were so painful. The worst bit was I couldn't even run home to get to the loo quickly. I had to walk as running kept setting them off even worse.

Was the worst half hour of my life!