I think working for yourself does this to you.
Having just took took out a mortgage that makes me want to cry, I was tempted to "go direct"
I was offered a job on the books a few weeks ago, and took it. And for days and days I just felt unhappy and confused.
At at first I thought it was the stress of moving house etc, but deep down I knew it was the fact I had accepted a direct job.
I then had to make the hardest phonecall of my life and tell a manager at work, who has became a close friend of mine and who had moved mountains to get me a direct job, that I didn't want the job and had to let him down.
I felt terrible, but after a five minute sit in the van, I drove home, and it was the nicest drive home I've ever done
the weird confused feeling had gone and I felt myself again
sometime me being self employed is a big worry, but the good times out weight the bad ten fold