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a monday pick me up contains adult humour

  • Thread starter Thread starter Barry98
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then he grew up into a right twa t
 

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Hopefully, this guy will run for Parliament! He is laid back, looks as intelligent as anyone in UK government, and appears to have what most current politicians lack.

big balls.jpg
 
I hate neknomination with a passion but I can watch this one for hours!

[video=youtube;FST6QMngVpg]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FST6QMngVpg[/video]
 
I hate people that use their phone whilst driving had some idiot in front of me on the motorway today

made me drop my razor in me cornflakes and splashed milk all over the newspaper
 
Man goes to doctor, complains about leg. "It keeps talking," he says. Doctor tells him to take off trousers and lie on examination couch. He then listens to man's thigh through stethoscope.

Thigh says, "Lend us a tenner."

"Remarkable," says doctor, moving stethoscope down to knee.

"Lend us a fiver," says knee.

"Incredible," says doctor, moving stethoscope down to ankle.

"Lend us a couple of quid," says ankle.

"Amazing!" says doctor.

"What's wrong?" asks man.

"Your leg is broke in three places."
 
The following is purported to be an exchange of correspondence between a customer and the Irish Railway Company (Iarnród Éireann).

Gentlemen,
I have been riding your trains daily for the last two years, and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip. I think the transportation system is worse than that enjoyed by people 2,000 years ago.
Yours truly,
Patrick Finnegan
--------------------------------
Dear Mr. Finnegan,
We received your letter with reference to the shortcomings of our service and believe you are somewhat confused in your history. The only mode of transportation 2,000 years ago was by foot.
Sincerely,
Irish Railway Company
-----------------------------------
Gentlemen,
I am in receipt of your letter, and indeed I think you are the ones who are confused in your history.
If you will refer to the Bible and the Book of David, 9th Chapter, you will find that Balaam rode to town on his bum.
That... Gentlemen, is something I have not been able to do on your train in the last two years!
Yours feckin' truly,
Patrick Finnegan.
 
He laughs because he knows it's true. Goats cock became popular with the sub - Birmingham crowd after the jellied eels famine of 1998
 
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