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a monday pick me up contains adult humour

  • Thread starter Thread starter Barry98
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Officers from Operation Yewtree are investigating Pans People, it's alleged that they caused hundreds of young boys to self abuse in the '70s.
 
made me laugh.
joke.jpg
 
Sunday morning in a little chapel in the welsh valleys.
The vicar is in the pulpit and says, "Who here in the congregation can tell me they have seen a ghost?"
Silence from the congregation.
The vicar then says, "Who here in the congregation can tell me that they have seen and spoken to a ghost?"
Again silence from the congregation.
The vicar then says, "Who here in the congregation can tell me that they have seen and spoken and made love to a ghost?
A voice from the back shouts out,"I have vicar!"
"Thomas Evans", says the vicar, "You mean to tell me that you have seen, spoken to and made love to ghost?"
The man replies "Oh! Sorry vicar I thought you said a goat!"
 
A couple who have been married a long time are having a blazing row......he said ..when you die I am putting on your headstone here lies my wife as cold as ever........she furiously replies.....oh yeah when you die I am putting on your headstone..here lies my husband.........stiff at last......regards Turnpin😛unk:
 
I thought it was a seaside tragedy when I saw the headline............."young lad tossed off Cliff".

Just goes to show, you never know what dangers are lurking in the Shadows.
 
A couple of naked lesbians barged into the house today, and started wrestling with my mrs while she was in the bath. I tried to help,
but I could only knock one out.
 
My mum bet me £100 I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti.

You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!
 
I've just started a new job as a comedian in an old peoples home.

They don't understand the jokes, but they still pi$$ themselves.
 
I shoved some purple grapes up my girlfriends a$$ during kinky sex last night, she didn't scream or anything.......just let out a little wine.
 
I got sacked from my job as a bingo caller last night, apparently "A meal for two with a hairy view" is an unacceptable way to describe the number 69.
 
My mate pulled at the weekend he said she was a 1664 ?...he explained she looked like 16 from behind and 64 from the front ..after a lot of drink she dragged him back to hers and led him to the bedroom ..he said the room was full of shelves with all types of teddy's and doll's sitting on them ...after a night of passion she woke him with a cup of tea ...he said how was it for you last night ...she replied he could choose anything from the bottom shelf.....lol regards Turnpin😛unk:
 
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