a monday pick me up contains adult humour

[kay-jay]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

wtf i've been asterisked out......its the name of the damn product lmao

 

[Barry98]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

A policeman sent his wife and child to a sea resort for a vacation. After a week he joined them in the hotel. As soon as he came to the hotel room he wanted to make love with his wife.

- No darling, we can't do it here, what if the kid wakes up?
- You are right, lets go to the beach.

They went to the empty beach and start to make love. All of a sudden, a policeman run into them.

- Put your cloths on immediately, shame on you, you can't do that in public.
- You are right - said the husband - but it was a moment of weakness. We didn't see each other for a week. By the way, I am a policeman too and it would be very embarrassing if you fine me.
- Don't worry, you are a colleague and it is your first time. But this is the third time I caught this tart making love on this beach in the last week and she will have to pay for it.​

 

[Barry98]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

ANNUAL
BELLY-BUTTON JEWELLERY CONTEST
.... AND THE WINNER IS?
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FLORIDA
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..
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A Very Close 2nd Place ! is...................










Manchester
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[Resolute]

Pics won't show up for me?

 

[Barry98]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

try right cliciking over it and click show picture

 

[kay-jay]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

that don't work either, says invalid attachment

 

[Barry98]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

can you see them now ?

 

[Resolute]

Showing now Bod!

 

[SafeGasInstall]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

Which one is the Manchester' s one ?

 

[GQuigley67]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

meeeeooooooooooooow

 

[Barry98]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

well ive booked a one way ticket to florida , put it that way

 

[Resolute]

well ive booked a one way ticket to florida , put it that way

I'm sure you could get a bottle of wine closer to home!

 

[Barry98]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

i did 3 year ago and look where thats got me

 

[billybob150811]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

a plumber swops his wifes tampons for some party poppers well she says shes got a good sense of humour

 

[GQuigley67]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with Take That.

Whatever I said, whatever I did, I didn't mean it

 

[GQuigley67]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

Guy walks in to a chemist n says to the man behind the counter
"ive got dinner tonight with my girlfriend i need to buy a condom. actually give me 3, her sisters the bomb and her mums still sexy"

in the middle of having dinner that night the girlfriends dad walks in. the guy immediatly bows his head and starts praying.
girlfriend says to him "i didnt know you were religious"
guy replies "i didnt know your dad was a chemist!"

 

[GQuigley67]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

nick clegg and david cameron were standing outside a school with a dog when they noticed all the children coming out and lifting up the dogs tail. Nick Clegg asked one of the boys "why are you doing this to the dog?" the boy replied "we got told there was a dog out here with 2 arseholes"

 

[Ian10261]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

lying in bed with the wife i looked into her eyes and said "seeing your face reminds me of the lottery"
"is that because i'm worth millions to you " she said.
"no" i said "i wish you'd f***ing roll over"

 

[GQuigley67]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

ever fitted one of these before ?? lol

 

[GQuigley67]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

<img id="vbattach_3660" class="previewthumb" alt="" src="http://www.ukplumbersforums.co.uk/attachment.php?attachmentid=3660&amp;stc=1" attachmentid="3660">&nbsp;ever fitted one of these before ?? lol

 

[GQuigley67]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

A bloke walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads "Cheese sandwich: 0.99; Chicken sandwich: 1.50; H*ndjob: 20.00"
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, the man walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three hot waitresses
"Yes" she inquires with a knowing smile. "Can I help you"
"I was wondering" whispers the man "Are you the one who gives the h*ndjobs?"
"Yes" she purrs. "Indeed I am"
The man replies "Well go and wash your hands I want a cheese sandwich"

 

[leelister6]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

I just saw a fat ginger bird buying a rape alarm. You gotta admire her optimism!

 

[leelister6]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

Spreading my arse cheeks, I said to my doctor, "Do you think those are piles hanging out my arse?"

He said, "Would you mind making an appointment to see me next week. I'm having a meal with my wife at the moment."

 

[Dotty]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

I went to see a doctor about a rash on my balls
The doctor said "You'll have to stop w@nking."
"why's that?" I asked
"Because I'm trying to examine you!"

 

[kay-jay]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

wife comes out of the shower with a glint in her eye and says to me, i've just trimmed my ***** and you know what that means??
i sighed and said you've blocked the f-ing trap up again. i'll go and get my plunger