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things a gas engineer / plumber would never say

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Course I can tape the hoover to my drill when I'm drilling holes.

Course I do interest free credit, just call me mr brightside
 
dont worry i have traveled 60 miles to fix your boiler at night on a friday because you had no gas its no problem
 
I know I know........it goes all the way back to when I was an 9 year old lad walking to school after drinking a cup of tea and all of a sudden that nasty cup of tea flew out of my mouth and shot out of my nose!! And I've never touched it since......just don't like hot drinks......please don't hate me and make me the forum outcast!

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your not alone mate i dont like tea or coffee either, bovril is my hot drink lol but i doubt alot of customers stock it!
 
i dont mind explaining to you how to connect this gas appliance up sir, next time you will be able to do it yourself.
 
How much I get for your cylinder Mr.

Of coures I'll fix your liking quoter turn ciramk valve ,
I'll just get my box with washers !!!!
 
and I can tarmac yer drive, tear out them trees, sortout those dodgy roof tiles, jet yer drains, and my name is Jamie
 
no there not your daughters nickers mr smith in my apprentices tool box , hes a cross dresser on a weekend
 
yeah sure ill take you on and retrain you , where do u live ? end of my street . brilliant do you want picking up in a morning. no serious your the first person to ever ask me
 
no mrs smith , your husband was right to turn your meter back to front so you'd get free gas
 
Thank you for carrying on using your toilet when it was blocked, it smells delightful on this lovely monday morning when i have a sore head !!
 
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