things a gas engineer / plumber would never say

[philtheflush]

if your going to say it dont say to the elderly unless your a first aider

 

[CES]

Help yourself to the scrap mate, You've just saved me a trip to the dump cheers!

 

[royston]

Lol, lol, lol, luving the threads keep em coming !!

 

[Barry98]

sorry mr smith i didnt realise i was on your side of the bed , your lass never said anything

 

[mickie]

you could have cleaned you toilet before i came out, mr smith..

you've got a head ache and think its the boiler? well i dont detect any carbon monoxide, i think its this stinking house, try having a shower and opening the windows

 

[mickie]

you want to show me all the problems in the house that arent related to my job at all, yeah go on then, i dont mind..

you dont have any money in the house to pay me ? why did you call me out then ?

you want to haggle ? ooh go on then..

hi, are you a plumber "yes" i saw you working next door and thought you'd be able to help me, could you fix my boiler while your on, i have no money.. is that ok ? yes........

 

[unguided1]

Yeah and I can fit flexis to all yer radiators!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Mikey456]

Yeah sure ill fix your drawers whilst im here. Whilst im at it ill also put up that flatpack furniture you have.

 

[quality]

Yeh no problem I can sort the toilet and drains when I am finnished your boiler install no extra charge love

 

[erj]

nice breast mrs

 

[Ultimate P & H]

nice breast mrs

Just the one?

 

[Dannypipe]

I work for free on a Sunday.

 

[Billy Bob Bob]

parts for heatlines are cheap,they are good boilers(yea right,detection electrode,baxi £8 heatline viso + £47!!!!!!!!)

 

[REDSAW]

you may live here, but if you swear again i will slap you.........

 

[GQuigley67]

hi my names steve, im blind death and dumb and i will be ur gas engineer for this evening

 

[PlumbBobBob]

would you like to join me? i'm just testing the bath for leaks.

 

[Plumbstar Tom]

I believe you that you never touched that gate valve

 

[Plumbstar Tom]

Wow what a bargain that £20 tap that says made in China on it is!

 

[royston]

Yes mrs smith you can turn the water off for me under the sink, as i stand at the side of you and look down your top and check your bum out.

 

[CES]

whoops!, sorry, I really should check that your cat isn't under the floor when I nail it back down

 

[dontknowitall]

I like these petrol prices as it gives me an excuse to put my prices up.

 

[Mikey456]

Yes mrs smith you can turn the water off for me under the sink, as i stand at the side of you and look down your top and check your bum out.

We do this anyways!

 

[quality]

No problem I will swap your gas meter that you just bought of ebay and will give you a certificate aswell

 

[Dotty]

Yes I'm positive I have to wear your underwear on my head to protect against Dihydrogen Monoxide Miss Smith.

 

[Dotty]

We do this anyways!

thank Gawd, I thought it was just me!