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things a gas engineer / plumber would never say

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no sir, i dont mind at all that someone else installed your cooker this sunday morning. i wouldnt expect you to waste your money phoning to let me know, anyways, i pass this way once a year on the way to my holidays.
 
Something I did say ...

I was working with another plumber recently (brilliant plumber and much, much better than me I hasten to add). He was chatting to customer and I heard the customer ask, "How often, say out of 10 boilers, when you install a boiler, does it go wrong?" Before the poor chap could answer I shouted, "EVERY TIME!"
 
dontknowitall said:
Something I did say ...

I was working with another plumber recently (brilliant plumber and much, much better than me I hasten to add). He was chatting to customer and I heard the customer ask, "How often, say out of 10 boilers, when you install a boiler, does it go wrong?" Before the poor chap could answer I shouted, "EVERY TIME!"
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you should have said never .........except yours
 
I'm just surprised at the amount of customers called Smith.......i've not worked for anything called Smith yet.
 
thought you were a copper when i saw the uniform in the wardrobe but whats the whip for
 
no you cant have a shower whilst ime working in the bathroom love you might get me soapy and wet
 
can you both go and try your new underwear on in another room while i work in hear ladies
 
I just brushed my mess in to that hole in your floor as i could not be bothered going to get my dust-pan!
 
Doe's it really matter if your shower is faulty as i don't think you use it very often?
 
When i asked if i could borrow your hoover that was actually a hint for you to say ( Oh don't worry about that as il do it myself! )
 
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