Week 3 in the great Intergas virgin give-away

[Ray Stafford]

Morning all.

Well, week one was fun, but week 2 started to get a bit boring after a while.

Not for CH4 obviously, but for everyone else.

So lets just remind everyone of the basic deal:

our favourite sponsor has FIVE (count them, one, two, three, four, FIVE) Intergas boilers to give away. Each one is worth a thousand (inc VAT) of your Great British Pounds.

Absolutely free. No charge. Not a penny. We will even throw in a jig, flue kit and delivery. Your bank balance will not be depleted by so much as a brass farthing.

Before I go any further, I should express my inestimable thanks to Mr Steve Zouch, Mr Jim Boyce and Mr Andy Burton of Intergas for their spectacular generosity in providing these boilers, and for their bottle in putting their product in front of all of you for honest review.

The boiler in question is the top-of-the-range 30kw Combi Compact ECO-RF. This is not the boiler that most Intergas users will be aware of (the HRE is the well known one). The ECO-RF range is a souped-up version and has all the features one expects of Intergas - easy maintenance, separate expansion, just 4 moving parts, legendary heat-ex, hot water available even when the pump fails, along with:

• Built in Honeywell RF programmable stat
• 10 year warranty* (so long as you attend the manufacturers training course)

To qualify for this freebie, you must be:

• a Gas Safe Registered engineer.
• the main decision maker in your business.
• An Intergas virgin. So you must not ever have fitted an Intergas boiler, or been on one of their courses.

By submitting your application for a freebie, you agree to the following conditions:

• You will attend an Intergas training course (approx 4 hours) at one of their 21 training centres around the country before you receive your free boiler.
• You (and your customer if necessary) will co-operate with the Intergas marketing team if requested for photos and/or interviews
• You agree to write an honest review on this forum of your experience with the training course and the boiler. The review does not have to be positive, but any criticisms should be constructive

Later on, there will be another freebie for Intergas ****s only - but for now, we are only open to intergas virgins.

Here's the change for this week.

Providing you qualify under the rules, you enter by posting on this thread, on the open forum, before close of business on Wednesday 1st July, a poem that you have written.

It can EITHER be about:

Intergas boilers

OR

The life of a plumber/heating engineer/gasman/whatever-you-prefer-to-call-yourself.

It can be short or long, serious or funny. It might be a sonnet, and ode, a limerick, or even perhaps even a haiku. I'm partial to a bit of doggerel myself.

It must be original.

Depending on how many entrants there are, I will decide on how to shortlist, but I may use a forum poll. Equally, I may not.

If we get something really good, we'll send out a press release, and you might find a new career as poet in residence at Gas-safe!

Good luck.

 

[Rickster123]

Is there a separate prize for employed, hard working poem writers?..:35:

 

[Ray Stafford]

Is there a separate prize for employed, hard working poem writers?..:35:

OK, just to widen the interest, I will add an unspecified prize for the best poem by a non-qualifying entrant. (ie, non-gas plumbers, or forum members employed by larger organisations)

So please make it clear if you submit a poem whether you are putting yourself up for the Intergas freebie, or for the mystery prize.

 

[Ch4 plumbing]

Good luck guys quills out and ink open:smiley2:

 

[gizmolang]

Good morning all I will get us all started on this then.

There was a clunk and a clang and a big bloody bang from me old back boiler.

Out came the gasman as quick as a flash who said you need a new combi boiler.

You have nothing to fear your Intergas installer is here , Fitting this boiler on the jig it will be on the wall real fast so get the kettle on im starting to GASP.

Its done now my boiler with a long warranty , 4 moving parts and some wireless majiggy which looks rather smart which I have no idea what it does so I just push it to start, With water so fast she will soon have her bath.

Hail to the Gasman

( Entry for boiler )

 

[IDCHAPPY]

Ok, i see it now... lets get thinking

 

[stevetheplumber]

there was a old plumber from ealing
whose boiler packed up for no reason
he won a prize ,which brought tears to his eyes
and now he has a warm feeling

boiler entrant

 

[rpm]

There was a young lady from fareham
Whose body was ..............

Ooops, public forum!
lol

 

[Dotty]

There's a mod on UKPF you all know,
Who usually misses out on freebies,
Williams have him on a black list.
This doesn't completely rhyme.....
I don't care....

 

[rpm]

A lot of us have done our work for many a long year
In that time we`ve heard every sob story
So now we tend to say "Oh yer!"

Our knees may creak, our backs may ache
But we still love it at the end of a job
When the customer pays and say`s "That`s great"

Mystery prize entrant.


(Know it`s rude to ask but the 15mm Aladdin easy-fit iso would be great to try out)

 

[Rickster123]

There once was a fella called Len,
Who'd give his right knacker for a pen...

 

[rpm]

There's a mod on UKPF you all know,
Who usually misses out on freebies,
Williams have him on a black list,
And that is where he will stay say`s Ray

Sorry mate couldn`t pass up the chance.

 

[anz]

This isn't going to be easy.

 

[gassafe]

So Ray wants us all to write poems to him... We're a long way from Valentines day Ray

 

[Masood]

There was a plumber known as Cropp
Who was known to have the odd strop
“I never win a prize”
Were his frequent, sad cries
But never did the penny drop

John’s nemesis was a man called Ray
A fiendish merchant they say
Who knew full well
But would never tell
That the courier DID go that way

Ray liked to tease and torment
Poor Croppie with wicked intent
He’d dangle the bait
Then sit back and wait
For croppie’s tearful lament

The moral of this tale, lads, is clear
If free boilers and gifts you hold dear
Don’t wind up old Ray,
Or live too far away
Or you’ll miss out too, I fear!


Mystery prize entry...

 

[Ray Stafford]

Mas sets the bar pretty high...

 

[Rickster123]

Masood is disqualified for being a toff! Bleeding Wordsworth!

 

[rpm]

Masood is disqualified for being a toff! Bleeding Wordsworth!

And AP for having a hissy fit!

 

[Rickster123]

And AP for having a hissy fit!

I'm not having a hissy fit I will just buy my own pen! Stupid game. I'm getting english lesson flashbacks here. There was always that one smug git who could spend 5 minutes doing his homework and still got an A+! Well you ain't playing in my gang at lunchtime masood!

 

[rpm]

I'm not having a hissy fit

Oh yes you are! lol

 

[Dotty]

Sounds like a hissy fit to me.

 

[Rickster123]

Sounds like a hissy fit to me.

Oh piddle off

 

[Dotty]

Oh piddle off

Yep. Hissy fit.

 

[rpm]

Yep. Hissy fit.

Case closed I reckon cropps?

 

[lame plumber]

There was an Old Plumber called Jon
who was happy to bimble along
he wasnt that bad
but became rather sad
when a mod decided not to ignore him

so off he went
for some time to repent
the fact he was rude
to the forum (not the whole story )

But it is sad to say
he beggared his back the next day
and had nothing to do or play

He had the idea
to pop back and appear
as a lame plumber m'dear
with manners and grace on the forum

Having been almost good
it remains to be seen
if this new chap will be deemed
fit to win a ludorum (mystery prize)