a monday pick me up contains adult humour

[tamz]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

I'm 4. I mean if she had her **** out it might have looked the part:smile:

 

[tamz]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

If only you knew Gerry!Got caught short one day on a job with no loo roll. The memories of what those Wonder Wipes did will stay with me to my dying days.

I take it you never had a handy cement bag :lol:

 

[Mike Jackson]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

4 of us

 

[CES]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

Mike your 5, Im 6..

 

[Masood]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

Mike your 5, Im 6..

Sorry for the disappointment gents. It's supposed to let you move the phone around, and in the screen of the phone you see her naked. Works on my PC but not on the website, and I couldn't delete the post... :-(

 

[Barry98]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

Try harder next time

 

[Billy Bob Bob]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

Sorry for the disappointment gents. It's supposed to let you move the phone around, and in the screen of the phone you see her naked. Works on my PC but not on the website, and I couldn't delete the post... :-(

7 people have just gone back to check,bods gonna Google it

 

[Masood]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

7 people have just gone back to check,bods gonna Google it

I can email it to you if you like?

 

[Billy Bob Bob]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

I can email it to you if you like?

yep i can bounce it round the other lads then

 

[Puddle]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

Sorry for the disappointment gents. It's supposed to let you move the phone around, and in the screen of the phone you see her naked. Works on my PC but not on the website, and I couldn't delete the post... :-(

When i first saw it,thought 'armless' enough!! :cheesy:
Don't suppose you know of an app that puts cloths back on,could do with one for our lass!!:rockstar:

 

[Billy Bob Bob]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

All drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name.


Example, the trade name is Tylenol and it's generic name is
Acetaminophen.. Aleve is also called Naproxen.

Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.


The FDA has been looking for a generic name for ******.

After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it
recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of
Mycoxafloppin.
Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin,
Dixafix,
and of course, Ibepokin.


Pfizer Corp. announced today that ****** will soon be available in
liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage
suitable for use as a mixer.
It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff
one.

Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new
meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-
fashioned 'stiff drink'.

Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.


Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast
implants and ****** today than on Alzheimer's research.

This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population
with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of
what to do with them.

 

[villa_tom]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

After watching nurse **** while at the hospital, I thought I'd try my luck. So when the nurse came in to check up on me, I said, "Fancy a quickie?" To my surprise, it was very easy and I ended up getting 69 and anal. Although I would have preferred a female nurse.

 

[Barry98]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

In hindsight I should probably have posted my Facebook status as;
"I've blown the head gasket on my 1997 XR3i"
rather than "I've just *#@**#@**#@**#@*ed a 14 year old escort".
The police still haven't seen the funny side,
my laptop has been confiscated,
though the wife has gone to her mum's so the news isn't all bad

 

[Barry98]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

A petrol station owner in Dublin was trying to increase his sales. So, he put up a sign that read, 'Free Sex with Fill-Up.'

Soon Paddy pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex.

The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex.


Paddy guessed 8, and the proprietor said, 'You were close. The number was 7. Sorry. No sex this time.'

A week later, Paddy, along with his friend Mick, pulled in for another Fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex.

The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number.

Paddy guessed 2 this time. The proprietor said, 'Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time.'

As they were driving away, Mick said to Paddy, 'I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex.'


Paddy replied, 'No it ain't, Mick. It's not rigged at all, at all. My wife won twice last week.'

 

[Dotty]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then. God, I love my new Taser!

 

[CES]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

.....

 

[Rickster123]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags, he's bisatchel.

 

[Rickster123]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says ''Your eyes sparkle like diamonds''. I said, ''Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck''.

 

[Barry98]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. He has his food prepared for him. He can eat whenever he wants.

His meals are provided at no cost to him.

He visits the Doctor once a year for his checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise.

For this he pays nothing, and nothing is required of him.

He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs, but he is not required to do any upkeep.

He makes no contribution to the running or maintenance of the house.

If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep. He receives

these accomodations absolutely free. He is living like a King, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.

All of his costs are picked up by others who go out, work hard, and earn a living every day.

I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head.









I think my dog is an IMMIGRANT

 

[Barry98]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

Croppie was loving it, with a big smile on his face as his girlfriend moved forwards then backwards,
forwards then backwards,
back and forth,
back and forth,
In and out,
in and out,
Her heart was pounding faster, her face was getting flush & she started to grunt and groan.

Then she let out one almighty scream!!!
.
.
.
.
.
.


"I can't park this bloody car! You do it you smug git"

Berzinga

 

[Barry98]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

I got chatting to a girl in a club, "Can I buy you a drink?" I asked.

"Have you not got a girlfriend?" she replied, "Guys like you always have girlfriends."

"No, sadly we broke up just over a month ago," I assured her.

"Oh I'm sorry to hear that," she said, "Go on then, I'll have a white wine please."

A few drinks later after a kiss and a cuddle we headed off back to her place and made passionate love. While I was putting my clothes back on she said, "So, you're good looking, a nice guy and amazing in bed, can I ask why on earth you split with your girlfriend?"

I said, "My wife found out."

 

[Barry98]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

A driver Is stuck in a traffic jam
on a motorway just outside London,

Nothing Is moving.

Suddenly, a man knocks on the car
window.

The driver rolls down the window
and asks, "What's going on?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped the
members of parliament and they're
asking for a £100 million ransom!

Otherwise, they are going to douse
them all in petrol and set them on fire.

We are going from car to car
collecting donations."

"How much is everyone giving, "
the driver asks.

"Roughly a gallon."

 

[Barry98]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

Usain Bolt.

The fastest man running in London since John Terry heard Wayne Bridge's key in the door.....

 

[Howsie]

Loads of these around. Brilliant.

 

[dontknowitall]

re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

That's gross!!!!