a monday pick me up contains adult humour

[Billy Bob Bob]

How does a Welshman find sheep in long grass?


Irresistible

nice avatar,did not suspect you were gay

 

[villa_tom]

nice avatar,did not suspect you were gay

Theres not point in changing it now, people just change it again :-(

ill just have to let people think I'm a raving iron :-(

 

[Billy Bob Bob]

political correctness

 

[julesverne]

Piece of black tarmac walks into a bar and shouts "im the hardest barsteward in here.''
Barman says ''calm down mate,of course you are, you're a piece of tarmac!''
Then a piece of red tarmac walks in and says"I'll fight any fcuker here. Who wants a beating?"
Black tarmac stays silent.
The barman says to black tarmac "Why didn't you say anything? I thought you wanted a fight?
Black tarmac replies"I'm not messing with that ****er, he's a bleeding cyclepath."

 

[villa_tom]

Puns....

 

[TomLane]

You can get kits to fix anything these days but I've invented a kit for when you can't be bothered to fix something

It's called the Fu Kit

 

[turnpin]

How can a women make a door happy?...........well she could try tickling it's knob...regards turnpin:43:

 

[Howsie]

First thing this morning, there was a tap on my door.

Funny sense of humour my plumber has.

 

[Resolute]

 

[PlumbBobBob]

In south london a fire destroyed a block of flats. A family of 6 benefit cheats lived on the 1st floor...all perished. An islamic group of pakistani fundamentalist's lived on the second floor....all perished. 10 african asylum seekers lived on the 3rd and 4th floor...all perished. One white couple lived on the top floor.... Survived.... Relatives and local do gooders demanded to know why only the white couple survived....the fire chief quietly replied....'they were both at work'...

 

[Toxic Ted]

View attachment 11534

Gotta get me one of them!

 

[dancinplumba]

Theres not point in changing it now, people just change it again :-(

ill just have to let people think I'm a raving iron :-(

always knew you were TOM xx

 

[villa_tom]

Saw this whilst stuck in traffic the other afternoon made me chuckle

 

[Keefy]

I read that 'Elegance' badge as 'arrogance'.

 

[villa_tom]

always knew you were TOM xx

You are doing nothing to endear yourself to me

 

[villa_tom]

Miss Bishop was teaching her class of 6-year olds.


"Sandy, can you spell cat?" she asked.

"C-A-T" said Sandy.

"Well done, Sandy. Tommy, can you spell dog?"

"D-O-G, Miss" replied Tommy.

"Well done, Tommy!" she said.

"Abdullah, can you spell racial discrimination?"

 

[Howsie]

The winner of I'm a Cardinal, Get Me Out of Here is....Jorge Mario Bergoglio.

 

[Howsie]

My wife screamed at me, "you never listen to me! You only hear what you want to hear"

"Sure, i'll have a beer", I replied.

 

[Billy Bob Bob]

[FONT=verdana, geneva, lucida, lucida grande, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]I was in my local post office this morning, I asked the young girl behind the counter "Do you keep stationary.?"[/FONT]
she replied "Only to begin with, then I go like a ****ing rabbit."

 

[Billy Bob Bob]

2 dyslexics run into a bank and shout....


Air in the hands
mother stickers
this is a **** up

 

[Billy Bob Bob]

So. There's a load of Cardinals mass-debating behind locked doors....The catholic church never changes.

 

[turnpin]

A young boy turn`s up very late for school one day ...Teacher.. Johnny your late why?
Johnny.. My Grandad got burnt ...Teacher was it serious ..Johnny they don`t fcuk about at that crematorium Miss!!! regards turnpin

 

[Billy Bob Bob]

so you broke it more?how to lie your way out of it

 

[Howsie]

I just got a text from the wife "How would you like your steak tonight x"

I text back my reply "Like your blow jobs, rare"

 

[Howsie]

No steak this evening so I'm on here instead...

Very funny think: https://www.youtube.com/embed/PpccpglnNf0