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Discuss a monday pick me up contains adult humour in the Plumbing Jobs | The Job-board area at Plumbers Forums

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A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.

The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."

The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."

The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says.

The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.

After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! "

The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"



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re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit.


In order to earn that pay cheque, I work on a rig for a drilling contractor. I am required to pass a random urine test for drugs and alcohol, with which I have no problem.


What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test.


Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a benefits cheque because I have to pass one to earn it for them?


Please understand that I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet.


I do on the other hand have a problem with helping someone sit on their arse drinking beer and smoking dope.


Could you imagine how much money the government would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a benefit cheque?
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

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re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

Thor, the god of thunder, goes to a singles bar and ends up spending the night with a beautiful woman. They have energetic sex many times, all night long. The next morning, he decides to reveal his true identity: "I Am Thor!"

The woman replies: "You're Thor? I can hardly pith!"
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

Don't let the door hit you
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

481003_10151265061101159_1917440965_n.jpg
Can someone put this up in the Arms....
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

Whenever I'm behind someone at a cash machine I like to let them know I'm not a threat by gently kissing the back of their neck.
 
I celebrated a year of celibacy today, or our wedding anniversary as my wife likes to call it.
 
I saw a sign telling me to keep two chevrons apart from the vehicle in front.

I was soon pulled over for driving right up the arse of a citroen.
 
It was nice to see Europe playing America at their own game by turning up late and claiming victory.
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

Last night I left the bedroom window open and a mosquito bit my wrist, which swelled up to three times its normal size.


Tonight I'm leaving my willy hanging out of my pyjamas.
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

Batman and Catwoman were going out on a date and were sitting in the Batcave.


"Oh Batty," she gushes, "you really are the greatest of all the superheroes."


"Thank you," replies Batman.


"No really," she continues, "you're brave, strong and true. You're quick-witted and fair. Everyone is scared of you."


"Please..." he replies.


"And you're so hunky!" she giggles. "You look so good in your costume and I love your pointy ears. I'm the luckiest cat alive. Now... I'm going to call us a cab and we're going to have a great evening."


She gets her mobile out of her bag, but can't switch it on.


"Oh!" she says. "Can you have a look - you're so good with gadgets."


"I'm afraid," he replies, "your phone will not work because of your bat flattery".
 
What have Jimmy Saville and Gary Glitter got in common?

They were both on top of the tots
 
re: a monday pick me up contains adult humour

57914115.preview.jpg Saw this on a web page
 
It will sort the wheat from the chaff :D

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