a monday pick me up contains adult humour

[Billy Bob Bob]

LITTLE JOHNNY STRIKES AGAIN
The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.'
The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate, not fascinating'.
Sally raised her hand. She said, 'My family went to see RockCity and I was 'fascinated.' The teacher said, 'Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'
Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.
She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word 'fascinate', so she called on him.
Johnny said, 'My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her **** are so big she can only fasten eight.'
The teacher sat down and cried.

 

[Howsie]

I'm honestly convinced some women do not fart.

They just hold it in, and it comes out as drama.

 

[Billy Bob Bob]

I'm honestly convinced some women do not fart.

They just hold it in, and it comes out as drama.

they dont fart because they dont stop talking long enough to build up any pressure

 

[Billy Bob Bob]

the advantages of driving a 4x4[video=youtube;MXR760Oe5BU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXR760Oe5BU&feature=fvst[/video]

 

[Dotty]

Shaggy and Scooby copping a look!

 

[Barry98]

Your lass sees that she'll lynch you , you've been told before about watching cartoons

 

[Howsie]

Brave man!

 

[zeebeedee]

So true

 

[Howsie]

Some very comical reviews here:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B002ATI4VG/ref=redir_mdp_mobile?ref_=tsm_1_fb_lk

 

[dancinplumba]

Some very comical reviews here:

Barrettine Methylated Spirit 500ml:Amazon:Grocery

i see there is one from system3

 

[villa_tom]

........

 

[Barry98]

Finally decided on my new year resolution,


1080 x 920

 

[Barry98]

Croppie and a mate got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose.


They managed to bag 6.


As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could
take only 4 moose.


The two lads objected strongly.


'Last year we got six. The pilot let us take them all and he had the same
plane as yours.'


Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded.


However, even on full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and
went down.


Somehow, surrounded by the moose bodies, Croppie and Mick survived the crash.


After climbing out of the wreckage, Croppie asked Mick,


'Any idea where we are?'


Mick replied, 'I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year.'

 

[Barry98]

Jen's friend Amy is complaining about having a sore throat.
"When I have a sore throat, I always give my husband a blow job and, as long as I swallow, it feels better the next day. You should try it," says Jen.
The next day, they meet up and Amy is all smiles.
"How did it go, then?" asks Jen. "Wonderfully!" beams Amy. "Your husband couldn’t believe it was your idea."

 

[Billy Bob Bob]

Two nuns sat at traffic lights in their car whan a car load of young lads pulls up alongside.

"Oi, get your **** out penguins!" shouts one of the lads.

The Mother Superior turns to sister Imaculada, "I don't think they know who we are, show them your cross".

So Sister Imaculada winds down her window and shouts, "**** off you little ******s, before I rip your ******** off"!*

 

[Billy Bob Bob]

the drugs dont work

 

[turnpin]

Teacher asks little kids give me a sentence with the word definately in it
Mary replies I am definately going to Nans house tonight
very good Mary
Bill replies I am definately playing football after tea tonight
very good bill
little Johnny said please miss doe's a fart have lump's in it
no Johnny why?
then I've definately **** myself then....regards turnpin

 

[kay-jay]

A VIDEO OF DANCING PLUMBA'S BIRD........
































https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10152345206505123&set=vb.620650122&type=2&theater

 

[kay-jay]

bugger link wont work

 

[kay-jay]

attempt 2




DP's BIRD



Frostie Dancing To Shake Your Tail Feather! ©Karla K. Larsson - YouTube

 

[julesverne]

Condoms don't guarantee safe sex! A friend of mine was
wearing one when he
was shot dead by the woman's husband!

 

[julesverne]

Due to the current economic crisis, Greece is cancelling
all production of
humus and Taramasalata. It's a double dip recession.

 

[turnpin]

Man goe's into police station and reports his wifes credit card has been stolen cop says have you reported it to your bank no says the chap who ever has it is spending less than her...regards turnpin

 

[Howsie]

I find parking my car at my girlfriend's house has some similarities to when we're having sex.

She has a perfectly good garage but I prefer to leave it in her back garden.

 

[dancinplumba]

a good one